Oh. My. God.

This is excerpted from an actual email exchange in my office. Comments in parens are what I really wanted to say. I swear I work with the most incompetent people and this kind of crap takes up probably 50% of a good number of days. This is like “who’s on first?”

Sept 21, from AA: Do you have a bio of our lovely boss? I need to edit it to put in the source book for our board.

Sept 21, from Me: Yes, let me attach it for you. (Which I did)

Oct 5, from Me, forwarding Sept 21 email: Have you finished editing lovely boss’s bio for the board book yet?

Oct 5, from AA: What bio? Her bio doesn’t go in the board book. Do you mean the source book? (Like, what the hell is the difference anyway??)

Oct 5, from Me: Yes, that is what I mean.

Oct 5, from AA: No, we haven’t even looked at that yet.

Oct 6, from AA, forwarding email from Sept 21: I’m cleaning out my email. Does anyone have lovely boss’s bio?

Oct 6, from Me, smoke coming out ears: This is what I just asked you about yesterday. (Are you that friggin stupid?) You said it hadn’t been looked at yet. Do you need another copy? (And if so why the hell didn’t you ask for it yesterday?)

Oct 6, from AA: Well, I don’t have it and no one is working on it. Who is supposed to?

Oct 6, from Me: (How the hell am I supposed to know who works on it, you asked me for it so I assume you knew!) Let me attach another copy. I have nothing to do with this sourcebook (so leave me the hell out of it!). Please send me the final version when you are done with it. (You figure out who is supposed to deal with it, but it’s not me! I do not want to hear another friggin word about this or I’m gonna run screaming from the building!)