Saturday, April 13, 2013

Where Does the Pain Go?

It's been a pretty rough week here again. Three people I know had to put their dogs down for various reasons. And a newly reconnected friend lost his wife this week, and it might have been the day I reached out to friend him on Facebook. A bunch of high school friends have connected recently, and I purposely didn't connect with him at first cause I found him annoying back in the day. But the more I thought about it the worse I felt dissing him, so I sent a friend request. And now I'm glad I did.

On my own dog front, I took my dog for radiation this week, and found out his tumor had grown 30% in three weeks. Not good. I started radiation because I felt he was really getting worse, and I was right. Unfortunately he had a bad reaction to the anesthesia that they used. His blood pressure dropped then spiked and there was a danger that he could have kidney damage. Luckily, that was not the case. But the bottom line here is that before putting him under again we need to assess whether the first dose did enough good to make the risk of anesthesia worth it or not. If not, I'm kind of at the end of the line here, and all that's left are terrible chemo drugs which I won't do, or holistic, which I am already incorporating. It's pretty hard coming to a place where potentially there is not much left to do.

Watching all the loss around me this week makes me realize that my turn is coming soon. I have been there before, and I will get through it, but it's not a good place to be. I always wonder how all of us deal with the loss, sadness, and pain that we are faced with every day. It's so hard to soldier on sometimes like nothing is wrong, but that is what is expected, and we have to find a way to live our lives in the face of so much adversity.

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