Recently my first serious boyfriend--who I haven't seen in 15 years--contacted me to check in. He pops up about every 5 years via email to say hello, and this time he wanted to get together. I was excited and scared at the same time. Would he look the same? Would I be attracted to him and vice versa? Not that it truly mattered as he is now married, but I had to wonder.
Back when we were together, I was gaga over him--he was tall, blond, built. I wondered at the time what in the world he saw in me cause I had not really dated a lot and certainly never thought I would snag someone so good looking. I actually went to my 5-year high school reunion just to flaunt him in front of all the people I hated, and loved every minute of that.
So my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed to meet for a drink last night. Honestly, if I had seen him on the street I would never have recognized him. He had said he looked roughly the same--we joked via email that we both were a little older, had a few more wrinkles, and carried a bit more weight. But he had gained more than a little weight, and was virtually bald though he had said he "kept his hair really short."
The question is, does he truly think he looks the same? Are we all deluding ourselves as we get older that we look virtually the same? Wow, it has been an eye-opening weekend. Should I have just skipped the meeting and kept the fantasy of him alive in my head? Makes me want to pull out all my old photos of him when I thought he looked like a Nordic God and reburn those memories back into my brain.
1 comment:
He no doubt realizes he looks different but in his head it just doesn't register....or hasn't sunk in. It's hard for some people to get used to not being considered in the same way they once were. That may be why I decided to get back in touch with you...to remind him of what once was when he was different. That and being married. Marriage can get boring and make one want to see other people who were a part of their live prior to it all.
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