A Week of Carnage

I have had some bad weeks before, but this one has to take the cake. Bloody bodies strewn everywhere. Here's a snapshot:

1. Went out with a friend of an ex, stupid idea I know. Though he said he had cleared it with the ex and he was cool with it, the guy wound up having a complete meltdown and freaking out and confessing everything to the ex. Carnage there was mine: thrown under the bus.

2. Guy friend who wants to be more than friends invited me to a BBQ last weekend but cancelled due unforeseen circumstances. He had a bad day on Thursday and took it out on me with a passive aggressive text rant about how I wouldn't make time for him when I legitimately have no time this weekend, though I did invite him over Sunday for a BBQ and somehow he missed it, and hello, you're the one who didn't come through last weekend. I don't owe you any of my time just cause you want it. Grow the fuck up. Guess what? We are done before we started now. Carnage: his and quite frankly his own stupid fault.

3. I let an employee go at work that I thought wasn't performing up to where she needed to be. She was still on probation and only 2 months in, but I had been frustrated with her and tried to counsel her, but she didn't have a clue that she was in trouble. This was part of the problem, just clueless. She took it really hard, said she was devastated, financially it's gonna be hard, she really loved the job, etc. etc. It was just brutal. Made me really regret my decision but she'd been driving me crazy for 2 months and I just didn't feel it was working out. Carnage on both ends.

So while I might not be Helen of Troy, I think I came as close as I ever will this week.

The Wisdom of Seeing Exes

Recently my first serious boyfriend--who I haven't seen in 15 years--contacted me to check in. He pops up about every 5 years via email to say hello, and this time he wanted to get together. I was excited and scared at the same time. Would he look the same? Would I be attracted to him and vice versa? Not that it truly mattered as he is now married, but I had to wonder.

Back when we were together, I was gaga over him--he was tall, blond, built. I wondered at the time what in the world he saw in me cause I had not really dated a lot and certainly never thought I would snag someone so good looking. I actually went to my 5-year high school reunion just to flaunt him in front of all the people I hated, and loved every minute of that.

So my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed to meet for a drink last night. Honestly, if I had seen him on the street I would never have recognized him. He had said he looked roughly the same--we joked via email that we both were a little older, had a few more wrinkles, and carried a bit more weight. But he had gained more than a little weight, and was virtually bald though he had said he "kept his hair really short."

The question is, does he truly think he looks the same? Are we all deluding ourselves as we get older that we look virtually the same? Wow, it has been an eye-opening weekend. Should I have just skipped the meeting and kept the fantasy of him alive in my head? Makes me want to pull out all my old photos of him when I thought he looked like a Nordic God and reburn those memories back into my brain.

I Love Telemarketers

I have a secret admirer, named Unavailable. Unavailable calls me at least once a day, from different numbers. Oh they're so sly, trying to trick me and keep me from guessing who they might be. I think about calling them back, but then think, no, if they can't bother to leave a message, I can't bother to call back. Why won't you show yourself to me? Oh, if only caller ID showed who you really were, perhaps I would actually pick up one day. (Moral for charities: Let people know you are calling and perhaps you will get a better response.)

Relaxed After the Weekend

This morning when I went to work, I felt like I'd really had a weekend and refreshed after a long week last week that ended with an interview where I was:

1. Given the wrong address. The right address was all the way across DC. Needless to say, I didn't go.

2. Given the wrong time. Apparently the company didn't have me on the books until next week! Check out the apology flowers, which make me think I should interview after all.

I can't figure out what I did to feel so refreshed, my weekend wasn't much different than any other, but it sure was great to walk into work starting from a good vantage point of not being too stressed out.