Grief . . . a Week Later

The sad thing about our ridiculously fast pace of life today is that there is no time to reflect, to mourn, to grieve, to think about anything anymore. I remember when my grandmother passed I had to go to work THE NEXT DAY cause of various things going on. Everyone just moves on to the next thing like nothing ever happened. It just sucks.

The house has been very, very quiet and strange without Pepper. My other dog has seemed a little out of sorts. I think he and Pepper fed off each other more than I realized. He's actually stopped being my alarm clock these days and lets me sleep later than ever before. He also seems a little lonely and clingy, so I've been trying to give him extra attention as much as I can.

I did decide to take last Monday off (despite the surprising flack from my boss), but I just think it's sad that there is no longer any respect for the emotions of life. You're just expect to go on as usual no matter what happens.

The surprising thing about this week has been the reaction of friends and family. Here are some reflections about that:

1. Family. They have called a couple of times to see if I'm ok but no "gestures" as friends have done, like cards or flowers.

2. Friends. Some friends I never expected to contact me have sent me cards or flowers. It has been so sweet, but made me cry each time . . .

3. Boss. Despite our "friendly, flexible work environment" where everyone knows WAY too much about each others' business and supposedly everyone cares about each other and personal time off is allowed, my boss was very reluctant to let me have one frigging day off cause we had a big thing planned last week. The big thing was on Friday, and mind you I took Monday off, leaving plenty of time for the planning of Friday's big event. But she was literally trying to talk me out of staying home Monday, saying things like "how considerate my dog was to pass over the weekend," the implication being that I wouldn't have to take any time off. I couldn't believe it! Most people in my company take time off for important things like hangnails; however, I was obviously not allowed one stupid day to mourn my dog of 15.5 years. Assholes! So despite the disapproval, I did take Monday off cause damn I well deserve it. Let me tell you, if it weren't for this crappy economy, I would be so out of there . . .