Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

So as a follow up to my last blog where I alluded to a less-than-perfect weekend, here is the story. I hadn't heard from my pilot friend all week until Friday afternoon when he texted me at work about the weekend. At first I was excited--it seemed he was fishing to get together, so I finally took the bait and suggested getting together after a happy hour I had that night as he lived nearby. I also said I was free on Sunday. His response: We'll see. We'll see? Really? Not really the response I'd hoped for. Not really sounding like a guy who is interested. Then the texts stopped abruptly.

But giving him the benefit of the doubt I thought I would text after the HH and see what was going on. However, before my HH, I saw him out and about and on the phone making other plans (he didn't see me) . . . after my HH, I saw him at a bar courting a table of girls (again he didn't see me). At the HH was a guy I used to like who I didn't really want to see again after he blew me off a while back. Not a fun night. I just can't deal with all the game playing and BS, so I basically texted fly boy not to contact me again as I really got the impression he was just out looking for the best opportunity, and clearly it wasn't me. My sister says I'm too dismissive. He texted back that I didn't have a clue what I was talking about. Me, I trust my gut and I know what I saw. I have a clue and only dismiss men who aren't worth my time, which is just about all of them. Are there really any decent ones left who aren't married or gay? The older I get, the less I believe, based on much anecdotal evidence. Just how many frogs do I need to kiss?

Sun Baked

This weekend was really busy--went to a happy hour Friday night, which was a disaster I will write about later--then had a baby shower and graduation/birthday party Saturday. The shower was in MD, down a bunch of winding country roads, which made me really wish I had a convertible. Two nieces had birthdays this week, one of which just turned 18 and then graduated Friday night. What a big week for her, and a great time to celebrate her life and success.

Today I spent most of the day outside, and boy am I wiped out. My dogs and I were out for like 3 hours early this morning, then I spent 4 hours at the pool. I am just beat, so I will save my happy hour disaster story for another time, when I can write it in a more coherent way.

Perfect Timing

Tonight I went out to dinner right after work, which I don't usually do because of the ridiculous guilt and responsibility I feel towards my dogs. But I was dining with a friend who has cats and also feels too much guilt and responsibility, so we usually meet right after work, keep it short and catch up for an hour, then head home. Tonight was rainy all throughout dinner, which would have been the time I would have been walking the dogs. By the time I got home the rain had stopped and we got to take our usual 2+ mile walk between the rain drops. The moral of the story: Sometimes bucking the routine and doing something for myself benefits everyone.

Letting Your Garden Grow

As a follow up to my June 1 post, my neighbor who is dying of cancer emailed me today, much to my surprise. As a little background, she and I both have dogs and would run into each other frequently in the neighborhood. In recent years I have been doing more and more gardening, and I always admired her garden out back and eventually we got to talking about it. She even gave me some of her plants. So today she emailed to say she was recycling some gardening magazines this week and thought of me. She planned to have her husband leave them on the front patio if I wanted them, and recycle them tomorrow if not.

I was flabbergasted. This woman, who has actually had a setback and is not able to have visitors this week as she had hoped, thought of me while she was "cleaning house" and took the time to contact me to offer me something she knew I would enjoy amidst everything that she is going through. In her email, she told me about her worsened condition, even making a joke about looking like a sick cancer patient. I did go pick up the magazines, and left a little gift basket filled with things that might help keep her and her husband entertained, as she is apparently no longer able to walk.

I am in awe of her strength, spirit, and sense of humor when facing her own mortality. She is truly an inspiration and I only pray that she does not suffer needlessly. I know I could never face that situation with as much grace as she is, and I only hope she is well enough to visit before it is too late.

The Love and Fear of Flying

This weekend I had the craziest and most fun experience I've had in a long time. It was my neighborhood's annual margarita party, which is generally a fun time. Last year, after the party, a bunch of us went out and had a great time and I wound up hanging out with this really cute guy.

So this year we all decided to go out again, and we were supposed to meet my friend L's friend Jim in a nearby bar. As we walked down the street to the bar, L stops a guy and says "where are you going?" so we all assume it's Jim. It turns out she's just messing around and didn't know the guy, and he played right along, which was hilarious. This guy winds up coming out with us and is acting like a jerk, which I kept calling him on. He said that I hated him, and I agreed and said I did. We argued about him being a Republican and me being a Democrat. At the end of the night after all the bickering, we discovered that we were attracted to each other and he took my number and asked if I wanted to go flying the next day. Flying? Turns out he's an ex-Navy pilot and flies for recreation now.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with flying. I love the beauty of seeing the country by air, the sense of freedom. I hate that I'm thousands of feet off the ground with nowhere to go but down if something goes wrong. I told him I would call in the morning with my decision, as I already had plans with someone else. When my friend heard about the opportunity, she said I should definitely go flying and that we would get together another time.

So today, I had the BEST FIRST DATE EVER. I took a leap of faith, put aside my fear of flying and typical "rules" about dating, and put my trust in J, who definitely knew what he was doing as a pilot. We had a great time--a totally unexpected, fun and sun-filled day, laughing and enjoying time together. It was so easy to be with him, I definitely feel like I am still flying.

Speeding Ticket

Unbeknownst to me, I apparently got a photo speeding ticket a couple of weeks ago going to a work-related press check that was like 30 miles away. I would never have even been on that road if it wasn't for work. Apparently on this highway the speed was 45, and I was going 57. Really? The ticket is $125. So unfair. I'm going to drive it again to see if the speed limit was posted where I got on, and if not try to fight it. But this really sucks, I haven't had a ticket (other than parking) in like 10 years.

Living for Today, Letting Others Know We Care

I found out this week that a neighbor who has struggled with cancer for the last few years has opted to stop treatment and is getting hospice care at home. While the news is (unfortunately) not a complete shock, it is very sad and she will leave behind a very devoted husband and pup. Part of the reason she decided to come home was so that she could visit with neighbors that she cares about, and I feel so honored that she wants our company. Starting next week, a bunch of us are going to take shifts visiting and getting a chance to say goodbye. So this got me to thinking about life and how suddenly it can change, and how rarely we tell each other we care. For example, I saw that an old boyfriend recently looked me up on LinkedIn. He didn't contact me, but I decided to contact him anyway just to let him know that I hope he is well and happy. He was one of the rare good ones out there. So we'll see if he writes back. No expectations, but it just seemed like the right thing to do at the end of this difficult week.

Corroborating Witness

Today I was a court witness, or as they called it "corroborating witness" for the first time in my life for a friend going through a divorce. She is a great friend and I had promised her I would do it, and what a weird experience. The "judge" grilled me more than I thought she would. Her husband was also there, and while it was great to see him, as we were always friends and the divorce is an amicable one, it was also bittersweet and signified the true ending of an era. A bunch of us used to always do things together and those are truly some of my favorite recent memories. I really miss those times and sit here tonight reflecting on life and how much things change, whether or not you really want them to. You have to just keep moving on and persevere, but sometimes it's hard to know what to do with all the sadness and loss.

Weekend of Relaxation and Fun

Lately my life hasn't consisted of either relaxation or fun, to the extent that I forgot I could even have some. A girlfriend and I took the weekend to tour VA wine country in her cute VW bug convertible. With a base in Harrisonburg, VA, we visited the Valley Fest Beer & Wine Festival where we fell in love with musician Mike Davis and raced down the highway blaring Bon Jovi alongside some JMU students. The next day we visited Afton Mountain Vineyards, which was so beautiful (pictured) that I didn't want to leave. We enjoyed lunch on the patio and glasses of dry riesling, very rare. Our other favorite vineyard was Keswick, which was really pet-friendly and boasted a beautiful chocolate sauce infused with wine. The roads were beautiful country roads through the mountains, and riding around with the top down it was easy to forget your cares. Monday I went to a cookout for Memorial Day, and had a fun time with friends who are quick-witted and entertaining. There was tons of food and drink, and even a couple of cute guys to flirt with. All in all, a great way to end a great weekend.

Sad for a Life I Never Met

My neighbor and fellow dog person, who has become a very dear friend, told me today that her favorite cousin committed suicide. This is someone she had been wanting to fix me up with. Apparently he was more depressed than people ever knew. He left behind a teenage son--how very tragic for the family. I really feel terrible for my friend, and wish I'd had the chance to meet this cousin she so admired, though I guess I would be even sadder tonight. You just never know how much a day can change everything.

Weekend with Nothing to Do

Just once, I have had nothing planned this weekend except for the Pet Happy Hour I organized last night. It was awesome, very fun time. I organize this every year for my condo association. It was a long, tiring day, so I didn't plan anything else this weekend. I am trying to finish my garden planting, and my house is a wreck so I am trying to get things back into some semblance of order. I have gotten a lot done, but all on my own schedule. Which is nice and much needed. If only the dogs would just be a little more low key things would be almost perfect. Tonight I wanted to grill and sit out for a while, but my neighbors have people over and they are outside, so it's kind of awkward, so I am inside watching a movie instead.

Mad at Blogger

Ok, so I had created this special blog template with all these things in the sidebar, and for no apparent reason and with no warning Blogger changed it yesterday right after I made an adjustment to the template. Now my sidebar has nothing interesting anymore and I have to figure out how to recreate it. Fuckers.

Sunday Night

Is there anything more depressing than Sunday night? Sunday night without wine, maybe. Luckily my friend J came over and helped me to make sure I had plenty tonight. We laughed and cracked up about crap that happened this weekend, and she got to see some plants that I just bought for my garden. I did a little planting today, so that was nice. Still have a lot to go. How is May here already? Anyway, it's after 11 and I need to get my beauty rest. The dogs are restless so I guess it's time to finally get to bed. Night all.

Things I Love

Things I Love is an occasional rant about things that really bug me. Usually it's about work, but today's rant is about my friend K, who calls me repeatedly but doesn't ever leave a message. This really pisses me off, and I have told her in the past that it bothers me when she doesn't leave a message cause I don't know how urgent her call is. She has had a lot of stress in her life recently and I've been there for her. So when she has called in the past I would typically call her back if I saw her number on caller ID. But you know, my life has gotten really stressful and is she there for me? No. When I ask her why she doesn't leave a message, she makes up some dumb excuse why she didn't leave a message, like she didn't think I'd be home but thought she would check. Well, if you don't think I'll be home, don't call me. She also called last night, Friday, at like 8:30 pm. After working a full week, I don't want to deal with her shit for an hour on the phone, and her calls are never less than an hour. She doesn't work so she has no idea how hard Friday nights are--I am either too tired and don't want to spend an hour on the phone, or I'm trying to go out and have a social life. I also have told her not to call on Friday nights but again she apparently doesn't care. Matter of fact I think the previous "no message" call was last Friday too. Will she ever get a clue? Apparently not. I would tell her these things again, but past experience has shown that she doesn't listen and will do whatever she wants anyway. So I will do what I want and ignore her. There, I feel better now.

Crazy

I have been at my new job almost a year and it has gone by so fast. It's been very stressful--first the company got bought out and I lost out on stock options and profit sharing. That has been sort of taken care of with a new bonus plan, plus a free parking space. So I am finally sort of over it. However, I've been dealing with a crazy employee for the year too. He has been out of work more than at work, and had sort of a mental breakdown around the holidays. He's brought union grievances against me and my boss. Now he's being evaluated for being "fit to work" which at first he was, but now he is not. It's a long story. The worst part is I am having to do his work, and now this is dragging out indefinitely again. He's been out more than a month. I can't take much more of this. I desperately need a vacation. I am taking tomorrow off, and hopefully having a long weekend will help to get me through this month until I can get a break . . .

Happy Birthdays

My father and grandfather (his dad) both had April birthdays, only 2 days (of course many years) apart. That made it easy to remember as a kid. They are both gone now, my grandfather just this past July, so these past few days have made me a bit sad. My father has been gone a long tme, but my grandfather died in July, just after his 96th birthday. Thinking of them both this weekend.

Ridiculous Story of the Week

Ok, there is a girl in my neighborhood who jogs incessantly, hours on end. Everyone thinks she's crazy--she runs in the middle of the street and doesn't pay attention to cars. She's not even training for a marathon or anything, she is just jogging off emotional problems. In any case, one morning this week I saw her behind a tree. She was not very well hidden, and she definitely saw me walking right towards her with my dogs. She proceeds to pull down her pants and do whatever business she was doing behind this tree on a major street in my neighborhood. She was down for quite a while, so I am thinking she was doing some serious business. The thing that makes this so crazy is that she lives like 1 block from this spot, so why didn't she just jog her little bare ass home and take a crap there??? Insane. This just confirms it.

Where Do the Weekends Go?

Here I sit on Sunday night, wondering where my weekend went. A very common occurrence. The weekend virtually flew by, while I have very little to show for it, yet the work days just drag. I have so much to do over the weekend that I hardly have time for fun. And the fun sometimes doesn't even feel like fun because it means I have less time to get the things done that I need to. Fun becomes just another obligation.

I guess this likely means I'm in (yet again) the WRONG JOB. And now, I have some work to do for this wrong job. So I will end my weekend working, but at least sipping very nice sangiovese at the same time.

How do you all cope with the workday blues? The job you hate? The Sunday night blues?

It's 2012?

I can't believe I haven't posted since November! I hope everyone had a great holiday. I am just glad that they are over and hoping that 2012 will be better than 2011 . . .

Four-Day Weekends

I have to say, I loved having a 4-day weekend over this past holiday. It is so hard to compress your life into a 2-day weekend; working just sucks the life out of you that you need more than 2 days to recover. I was busy most of the time, but also had time to get most chores and things I needed to get done. I went back to work actually feeling refreshed, unstressed, and happy. What a miracle! Now if only all the weeks were like this . . .