My hairdresser and I have had the same two arguments over the past several years. These are the kind of arguments where no one is going to win, but you argue for the sake of arguing because it's fun. Lately, however, the arguments have turned too serious, and so I have decided to avoid the topics, outlined below.
1. Coloring my hair - This topic is fairly innocuous, or at least it started that way. My hairdresser loves to do color. Well, quite frankly, what hairdresser doesn't when they can charge twice as much (no offense to my hairdresser friend BibaGirrl who reads this). I don't want to color my hair for many reasons, cost being just one of them. I don't like sitting in a salon for hours. I don't have time to sit in a salon for hours. I like my haircolor and don't want to change it. I thought my hairdresser was wrong and magically I would never need color. I want to cling to the last vestiges of my youth while I still can, etc.
So this used to be a joke until I started getting noticeably greyer. I know I'm fighting a losing battle and I'm pissed because it's starting to affect how my hair behaves and how dry it gets. I'm pissed because my hairdresser is right, and I know my hair could look better if I invested more money and time, but I just don't have it in me to do it yet. Things got to a breaking point a few months ago, with my hairdresser really getting on my case to the point where I told him "I'm sorry if I'm your worst client with the worst hair ever." My feelings were honestly hurt, and I stopped talking to him in the chair and stopped being so friendly. Point taken, argument dropped for a few visits, although last time he kind of cautiously put his foot back in the water to see if I would react.
2. Children - I have never, ever in my life wanted children. Thankfully I am approaching an age where it's no longer a strong biologic possibility, and people who want to date someone my age are not likely to be looking for kids. Before he got married, my hairdresser would argue with me that of course I wanted children, I just had to meet the right person, they were so wonderful, it would make my life happy, yadda yadda yadda. He just couldn't get it through his thick skull that a woman could possibly be serious about this.
Fast forward to him being married with a terrible two year old. Every time I see him I ask about his kid, and at first it was all sunshine and light. She was an angel, she could do no wrong. Over time, he couldn't believe how difficult she was, how stubborn, how much his life had changed. I started joking with him saying "I told you so--this is why I don't want kids. They ruin your life." At first it was funny, but as time has gone by he seems more and more depressed about his life, so I stopped teasing him about it. He just told me his wife and kid are going back to their native Turkey for the summer. I said I was sorry that he was going to be a bachelor for the summer. He said that he wasn't, he needed a break. Yikes! For once in my life, I wish I wasn't right.
1 comment:
OMG !! I have so many comments for you! I have many clients over the years that didn't want to change the color of their hair. I'd ask maybe every 3rd time, just in case, they were toying w/the idea. But if someone is happy w/their haircolor-grey or not, it should be respected. That being said, I was never one of the "big money makers" in my career. I developed a group of very loyal, realistic people that I enjoyed seeing for years, since they knew I wasn't going to pressure them into anything. You'd be surprised, about 1/2 of my long-term clients were women who wore no makeup, didn't color their hair, and usually didn't buy products due to allergies to fragrances. But they knew I'd cut their hair the way they liked, & we'd have the best conversations. Many times I'd argue w/my bosses because salon owners would give me a hard time saying "You NEED to talk those people into more" or "You stayed an extra hour waiting for THAT woman? ALL she got was a bang trim!!". I had learned after years of asking who was going to be the ones to do so, & who weren't. And the woman who was JUST coming in for a bang trim, had been doing so since 1988! Granted, I had many others who were up to changing color every time, buying the latest products, etc. But I wasn't going to put pressure on those who weren't those kinds of people.
All of that being said, the thing that usually changes people's minds about "no color ever" is going grey, if they aren't ready to see themselves that way. Color can help w/the texture, and some colors don't take all day at the salon-only 15 under a dryer.
Then there's the kid issue - people have a hard time w/someone who doesn't want kids-I've dealt w/it my whole life. Although a few years ago somethings changed (you & I NEED to hang out sometime for me to fill you in on all of that), I'm back to my usual self, of "That's fine for them, it's just not me". I don't feel I've missed out at all, I've been lucky, I've been able to see many kids grow up to be great people over the years in my clients kids from kindergarten to prom to 1st jobs to weddings, I've been there. And I did it without the sleepness nights, diaper changing, and income constraints. My brother's kids look & act enough like me, so I've been able to experience the whole "seeing myself in them" thing. So don't think that you are the only one experiencing all of this, you aren't :)
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