Wachovia: #1 in Customer Dissatisfaction

Warning: big, huge, unbelievable rant ahead.

I have been a Wachovia customer for the past 10 years. I have multiple accounts, debit cards, online banking, yadda, yadda, yadda. Now granted, I’m not a millionaire, so I’m sure they’re not clawing to keep my business, but this is ridiculous.

My debit card—WHICH HAS A VISA SYMBOL ON IT SO IT CAN BE USED LIKE A CREDIT CARD!—expires 6/08. That is in approximately one week. Yesterday I received my new debit card—with a completely different account number!

Last time I checked, when your credit card expires they just issue you a new one with the same number and new date. Not Wachovia.

Now, since they are trying to “simplify my life” with online banking, etc. I have used said debit card to sign up for automatic drafts from my account. Many automatic drafts from my account. Which means I have to call many vendors to tell them I have a F*CKING NEW CARD NUMBER WHEN IT’S REALLY NOT A NEW CARD.

I am COMPLETELY, ABSOLUTELY LIVID about this and spent ½ hour on the phone today (before yoga, ironically) yelling to Dipshit Customer Service Rep (DCSR) #1 and her Dipshit Supervisor. Below is the gist of the conversation, with actual quotes from both sides. I am totally not making this up. You can ask Jeffro, who just sat and ate dinner and hoped I wouldn't chew him a new one next.

Me: Excuse me, why are you changing my debit/credit card number and making my life completely inconvenient and miserable because I have to call all these vendors to change my account number?

DCSR: Whenever we issue a new debit card we issue a new card number.

Me: Um, this isn’t a new card, it’s just an updated one.

DCSR: Well, we do this with all debit cards in case there are any problems with the card.

Me: Um, there are no problems with the card otherwise I WOULD BE CALLING YOU ABOUT A PROBLEM WITH MY CARD! I would like to have my old number back.

DCSR: I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do.

Me: Don’t you realize you’re causing an awful lot of problems for an awful lot of people this way? Aren’t you supposed to be making my life easier instead of harder?

DCSR: I’m sorry, this is our policy.

Me: What about customer service? Isn’t Wachovia supposed to be #1 in customer service? How exactly are you helping me and making my life and banking easier? You are making it incredibly inconvenient to do banking with you.

DCSR: Well, I apologize for the inconvenience.

Me: Again, how is that helping me? Do you want to spend the day tomorrow making the calls for me?

DSCR: {giggles} No.

Me: You are completely useless.

DCSR: I’m sorry that you feel that way.

Me: I’m sorry that you suck. {Click}

Can you believe this crap? I have to spend the rest of the week trying to figure out who I have to call and how to call them, then I have to spend a day making calls from work, where I’m supposed to be working.

I threatened to change banks, but in actuality that would make matters even worse and more inconvenient—since the card expires like tomorrow I have to do all the changing now anyway so I don’t bounce payments, then do it all over again if I were to get a new account.

I’m headed to Wachovia tomorrow. Just pray that I don’t get escorted out by security.